The American career coach points out the "4 obstacles" that you will encounter on the road to success, and many people have not discovered it

Do you also have a role model in your heart, a very successful person in your heart, and the kind of person you have always wanted to be. But I always feel that I am still a little far away from that role model, and I don’t know where the problem lies.

Tess Miller, a U.S. career coach, raised several obstacles that many people will encounter on the road to success. To see if you encounter these problems, understanding yourself is the first step to success.

1. Perfectionism

After working for a long time, we will gradually understand a reality, that is, nothing can be "always good". Today you talk about the cooperation of a large customer, which has increased the company's performance. Tomorrow you may not be able to talk about customers with the same power.

The perfectionist motivates us to do things well, and also encourages us to avoid making mistakes, always go to the safest path, and kill our creativity. Gradually, your ability growth begins to fade, and a lot of learning materials are obtained from failures. With the enthusiasm of learning and challenging to face the work, you will gain more.

2. The appearance of terror

The appearance of terror is often well-established in order to allow us to avoid dangers that threaten our own safety. If the terror that has not yet occurred is too strong, it will hinder our pace or cause our performance to lose its normal standards. You can relax in this way:

Mindalousness: Observe your emotions from an angle of no critical or curiosity, and practice deep breathing.

Write your concern: After writing down the horrors in your imagination, their energy will not be so powerful.

Pay attention to your positive power: Think about what extent did you rely on when you encountered similar things in the past.

We can allow the appearance and existence of fear, but practice will not be moved by the nose by the emotion when it is in harmony.

3. The unclear boundary

There is a classic saying in the unspoken book "The Courage of Being Disliked": "All troubles are troubles of international relations." We may be afraid of conflicts, or dare not reject the demands of others in order to make ourselves happy, or are easily influenced by other people's emotions, and ignore what we really need and what we want. So these people's international relationship problems become a obstacle to your goal. Everyone says time is money, and you spend your precious money on others.

Therefore, it is important to maintain the boundaries of someone else's relationship. This does not mean that you should be a heartless person, but it is not a bad thing to take your own needs first. If you sacrifice yourself to help others, you may not necessarily receive the gratitude of others.

4. Unreasonable expectations

Dreams can be too big, but don't be unrealistic, because this will make you feel very painful. Psychologist Carl Rogers once proposed a theory that when there is a huge gap between a person's "real self" and "ideal self", psychological distress will occur. Sometimes you can't achieve your goal, not because you have poor abilities, but because you have high expectations for yourself, which is difficult to achieve overnight. These frustrations caused by unreasonable expectations may make you less and less confident and harness your motivation toward your career goals.

If you encounter these obstacles in your career, you don’t have to ask yourself to change immediately. This will put you in a lot of psychological pressure. As long as you can better understand and recognize your strengths and disadvantages, you will be one step closer to your goals.